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Forgiveness : It's Not What You Think, by Antoinette Piccoli Koprowski
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Theories about forgiveness abound like jelly bean flavors in a candy store. We're swamped with them by talk show psychologists, new age authors and even preachers and teachers in the church. These quick fix forgiveness methods work about as well as bubble gum on a leaky pipe, and before long we find ourselves struggling with the same old problem. Guilt, anger, bitterness, grudges and faithlessness are the result of the quick fix forgiveness method and are a heavy load to carry.
Unforgiveness can leave you angry, bitter and full of hate. You want to get on with your life but your offender is in your thoughts throughout the day and even enters your dreams. You've probably even spent countless hours reliving the incident(s) in your mind, thinking about what you could've or should've said or done - but didn't. THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF UNFORGIVENESS
Have you ever told the person who offended you that it was no big deal pretending to go back to the way things were without settling any of the issues? Have you ever had or do you still have times of eating too much or not enough (gluttony, bulimia, anorexia), taking prescription drugs when not needed or taking more than prescribed (painkillers, tranquilizers, anti-depressants), using street drugs, (marijuana, cocaine, etc.), abusing alcohol, sexual addictions, sleep too much, work too much all because you are a victim of an offense and are simply filling the hole in your heart with these things? Do you have angry outbursts over minor annoyances? This workbook will show you how to forgive your offender and get started on the road to genuine healing. HAVE ALL YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Learn the difference between a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. Being a peacekeeper only causes more pain and problems. Learn the difference between unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness. You may think you have forgiven, but can't understand why the pain isn't going away.
What does God expect of you when someone has sinned against you? Is it scriptural or even a good idea to forgive someone who hasn't repented? Does God forgive people even though they don't repent? Does a Christian have to forgive no matter what? What if I can't forgive the offense because it was a heinous crime? All of these questions and many more will be answered in Forgiveness - It's Not What You Think. FIND OUT WHAT FORGIVENESS IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT
Forgiveness - It's Not What You Think is different from any book you've read on forgiveness. It is a thorough investigation of the Scriptures on the topic of forgiveness. By reading this book and answering the questions you will finally be able to get on with your life and build your faith while you're at it. You will have an opportunity to have all your questions answered as well as learn to talk out your problem of unforgiveness as you work through the exercises in the book. By the time you've completed the workbook you will know how to: confront your offender. forgive. bring your offender to accountability. deal with an offender who has died or won't repent. Forgiveness - It's Not What You Think is an in-depth study on the topic of forgiveness. You'll also learn that Forgiveness Is Not" forgetting. pretending it never happened. letting your offender go free without consequences. blaming yourself for the offense. not unconditional. putting the past behind you. waiting until the pain and anger just goes away. forgiving for your own sake. taking the blame on yourself. Afterward we establish that Forgiveness Is" bringing the offender to accountability. overcoming evil with good. going to the person in private. going through every step Jesus tells us to. removing the debt but not the consequences. reaffirming your love for a repentant offender. allowing your offender time to perform deeds of repentance. using your experience to help others out of their unforgiveness. THE MYTHS EXPOSED
This workbook deals with the smallest to the very deepest of offenses. The degree of forgiveness necessary for each offense will vary accordingly. Things that you may believe are scriptural truths of forgiveness often are scriptural misunderstandings. What are the forgiveness myths? if you truly forgave, the offense wouldn't hurt you anymore. you must forgive no matter what. you should forgive for your own sake. forgiveness is unconditional. if I wait long enough the pain of the offense will go away. I'm not supposed to judge anyone. forgive and forget. if I forgive them I am saying that what they did to me was okay.
Also, keep in mind that this study will not only cause you to recognize where you need to extend forgiveness, but it will also reveal areas in your life where you may need to be forgiven. THE DECISION
The road to forgiveness is not smoothly paved. It's a process. However, it's up to you how you choose to arrive - whole and healed, or digging around for another map (book, method, sermon, etc.). If you are willing to follow the biblical instructions outlined in this book you can save yourself much time and trouble. Ask the Lord for the courage to travel through the sometime rugged terrain. No doubt you will go through mountains and valleys. Come with Jesus and me. We've made this trip before. We'll give you directions. Your arrival is anticipated.
- Sales Rank: #13673878 in Books
- Published on: 1999-12-23
- Binding: Spiral-bound
- 110 pages
Review
"Forgiveness, It's Not What You Think is a very practical workbook approach to understanding the steps of forgiveness. A key point of the book is the need for repentance on the part of the offender for the forgiveness process to work. I will recommend this book to my clients." -- Dr. David Monroe, LPC, Licensed Practical Counselor
"There are many books on forgiveness - this one's different. Like the proverbial three legged stool, it balances the roles of the offender, the offended and God to bring lasting peace to a hurting soul." -- Susan Skoglund, Librarian
"This study will open your eyes to what real forgiveness is about - not about ignoring justice and burying feelings, but about repentance and restoration. What she has to say goes against the grain of a lot of popular Christian preaching and writing, but it makes more biblical sense. As her current minister, I know that Antoinette has led a number of women through this process who come away saying, "If only I knew this stuff years ago . . ." -- Brett Kays, Pastor
From the Author
Over the past 5 years I had been troubled with the teaching that I was to forgive anyone and everyone, regardless of their sorrow or repentance. I began dealing with the subject of forgiveness while actively attending an evangelical church. When I became aware that one of the deacons of our church had been molesting his now 15 year old daughter for the past 11 years, I was outraged. The pastor warned me that if I turned one of his deacons over to the authorities, or exposed him to the church, he would in turn ruin my reputation.
Would my pastor tell lies about me in order to protect one of his deacons? I was not guilty of anything. How could this be? I was told that if I was anything like Jesus I too would forgive this deacon. Yet, this child sex offender neither repented nor was held accountable to the church for what he had done to his daughter.
This left me confused and angry about what forgiveness really is. The situation was all too familiar to me. Having been sexually abused myself as a child, now I was even more perplexed as to how I would forgive my own mother and father for what they put me through. I was angry that my pastor had forced me to forgive this deacon without repentance or accountability.
Many books have been written on the subject of forgiveness but none that satisfied the questions I had. I was compelled to search for the answers while I was struggling with the issues myself. I had spent years searching for a way to forgive and forget the grievous sins committed against me. I heard sermons on forgiveness, read books on forgiveness and listened to tapes on forgiveness. I sought the wisdom of Christian counselors, pastors and elders and godly men and women. Yet, my soul ached with bitterness.
Just "letting it go" wasn't working. The truth about forgiveness, I realized, would only be found in the Word of God. What I learned did not come in one day, one week or even one month. I studied forgiveness for over a year before realizing what God expected of me personally. During that year I shared what God was showing me with a group of women in a weekly Bible study. Together we explored the forgiveness issues we had dealt with in the past. We bore the burdens of women who wept over the deepest offenses, while realizing that some of the things we were holding against others were trivial.
When I saw that healing could come to myself and this group of women, from some of the more grievous offenses, through Christ's words then He could do it for anyone if they went through the same process. The women encouraged me to put the study into workbook format so I could help others who were hurting from unforgiveness as well.
It is my prayer that this workbook will help and heal you as you struggle with unforgiveness, and that you too will be free from the prison that it has bound you in.
From the Back Cover
Still struggling with forgiveness? Have forgiveness issues you thought you resolved come back to haunt you?
Genuine forgiveness has been shrouded in myths like forgive and forget. It was in the past, you have to get on with it and God forgives unconditionally, you should too. You may have been taught that you must forgive no matter what or that once you've truly forgiven someone the offense should no longer bother you. Myths like these will be dispelled as you learn the step by step approach to forgiveness taught by Jesus in the Scriptures.
Questions like should I forgive? Do I have to forgive? What about someone who doesn't deserve to be forgiven? Should I forgive over and over? and How can I ever forgive a seemingly unforgivable offense? will be answered from God's Word.
With Scripture references and question and answer sections, Antoinette Koprowski calls you to search your own heart in an attempt to overcome the pain and anger of the offenses in your own life. This workbook will show you how and when to confront and how to deal with old offenses. It will provide a step by step process that will allow you to finally be free from the prison of unforgiveness.
Antoinette Koprowski has been a Bible Study teacher for fifteen years and has had personal experience dealing with painful offenses. Her own inability to forgive as she had been taught compelled her to search the Scriptures looking for answers to the same questions you may be asking yourself right now. Because of her painful experiences God is now able to use her to help others on their journey to healing.
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